Toxic people. I have found lots of toxic people along my life. Some were more toxic than others. They get into your life and seem to be nice and sweet, but indeed they are just trying to find a weakness about you. They just want to know what can hurt you the most. And when they know what your weakness is, they use it as a weapon against you.
Any time that I meet new people, I always try to be nice to them. Mainly because I don't know them, and I want to create a good first impression about me. And also because I like treating people in the same way as I want to be treated. Some toxic people think I just do that to get friends and then I stop being nice. That's not true. I am not perfect, because I have a lot of defects, but I never try to control people, and I never gossip about people. I am NOT a toxic person. The person who says that IS a toxic person, trying to undermine my self-confidence. Trying to make other people stop liking me. Sometimes I wonder why those toxic people always want me to lose my friends. In a way, I am grateful to them, because since they talk to my friends and tell lies about me, I can know who my real and loyal friends are. When I see people stop talking to me, or just stop being there for me, I know they have been convinced to do so by one of those toxic people. Even though it upsets me a lot at first, then I realise that if they were so easily convinced that I am not a good person, then they weren't real friends. But it upsets me that there are people around there bothering my friends and telling them to stop being my friends, gossiping and telling lies.
Last Friday, a very good and dear friend told me that one of those toxic persons had sent her a private message, telling her her reasons for not following me any more, and saying that I was always interrupting her conversations, being unkind, and making nasty comments. I am very lucky because this friend didn't believe her. And I am lucky too because I keep some of the mails by this toxic person; with those mails I can prove that it is she who was being nasty to me. In those mails she is gossiping about other people, even though I never encouraged her to do so. This toxic person is a woman, much older than me, and who I thought was a good person. Obviously, she was trying to catch me in her net. Her toxic net. She made me join some groups, who were supposed to be groups of people talking about books, but indeed they were all the time gossiping about others and having fun of other people. That was the first sign. That made me cringe and I left those groups.
And she talks about others' private lives in public places, without being ashamed of doing so. She talked about one of my friends in a public forum, talking about his bedroom life. The rest of the people in the forum had a great time having fun at this man. She didn't say his name, but he said the country where he was living, so it was pretty clear who she was referring to. I felt outraged and I left that group too. I don't want to be close to toxic people.
And that's why she doesn't like me. Because I don't do as she says. She likes controlling people. She likes stalking people. She is clearly obsessed with some men in the Twitterverse, and if I were them, I would be worried. She is clearly a trouble-maker, and on top of that she thinks she is better than everybody else. I have read recently a post she wrote for another person's blog. By reading that, everybody can get the impression that she is a poor woman who has had a tough life, so everybody should pity her. Beware!! Beware of the person who wants to appear as pitiful in front of others! She is toxic, she is infectious in a bad way, and she will drag you to her insanity.
She made me feel very bad last Friday, but in the end I decided that feeling bad is what she wanted me to feel, so I thought about it and decided I wasn't going to let her make me feel down. Now I am stronger. It is too bad that we have to grow stronger just because there are people harming us. We learn through the hard way, but I guess that's good, since we get to be stronger than we were previously.
I don't want toxic people in my life. I want people who can teach me good values, and who can help me to grow as a better person. I am glad I happened to meet wonderful people along the years, but in a way I am also glad I met those toxic people, since they help me to grow as the kind of person that I am today. And they provide good material for the evil characters in my stories LOL